Tag Archives: growth

THE COMMON INSIDER

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Deep into 2020, we had one teen class that was unlike the rest. It was a rough year. I had been teaching on zoom, and through YouTube for months. At best, we had class 6ft apart with masks and I wasn’t sure if anything had gotten through to them in a while. I was worried that they had lost the desire to remain close to God. I didn’t know how their faith was really doing. I gave them all a post-it note and read them a made up scenario of a teen in the church. I simply wanted them to listen and at the end write “yes or no” if that described them or not. Here is the scenario I read to them.

Micheal grew up in the church and was baptized at the age of 9 years old. He had always heard that baptism was the right thing to do if he wanted to be saved. But when his uncle studied the Bible with him about baptism, he never mentioned evangelism. He heard that word from time to time in a sermon or in class but he didn’t really know it was referring to something he was expected to do. As the years went by, he grew up but never really grew much in his faith. He was always at church but the Bible always sounded so confusing and complicated. He never really felt close to God. He didn’t want to tell anyone, especially those in the church because he didn’t want to be judged. So he did what he did in school when he didn’t understand something or wasn’t interested; he pretended. If someone asked if he was ok, or if it made sense he always said, “fine” and “yes”. He sat in the back and tried to blend in, he read if called on, bowed his head when it was time to pray but he didn’t really feel  any of this in his heart. He knew in his head that he was supposed to go to church. He did believe that there was a God and he wanted to go to heaven, but was mainly at church because some of his friends were there. The youth group did fun things and went on exciting trips some times and he didn’t mind those because he got to spend time with his friends. Micheal had other friends though too at school. Most of his other friends didn’t go to church and would probably make fun of him if they knew he did. He did have some friends at school who went to church but were mostly there because their parents made them go like him. Micheal fit in where he was, doing whatever those around him where doing. Faith felt foreign. 

Their answers

A number of teens there that night said they either felt like this or somewhat like this person. Teens today live in a real world and virtual world they are trying to fit in with and manage. Faith is a part of their life but it is often so intangible and hard to see when everything else is in full color around them. How do we help them follow the right path? How do we help them become more committed to Jesus than they are to their sport teams? How do we help them value a relationship with God more than any other relationship they have? How do we help their faith become real and not something they choose to fake? These are all questions I wrestle with and we all should as we encourage them to grow in their faith. But they are also questions we need to ask ourselves as well.

https://feed.bible

We only get to do this once. As a Youth Minister, I have spent over 15 years begging parents to bring their teens to things, Bible classes and retreats & devos, things they miss to instead be at other places that are not in the presence of God. When we look at how teens view the church and the Bible, why are we not making every effort and moving everything we can out of the way to be at anything that can build faith among a community of people trying to do the same? Do we put as much effort and value on building relationships inside the church as we do building them in communities outside the church? If our time with our teens is not intentional, we should not be surprised when they walk away from the church because they have no real connection to it, the people in it, and no relationship with Jesus who joins it all together.

These sticky notes hang in my office and always will. But they will always worry me. I do not know which teens wrote “yes or no”. We are all really good at pretending and saying the right things to the right people, showing up just enough to appear interested. But God wants fully committed followers not causal fans. The cycles I have watched in the lives of teens, I have seen happen over and over again. And I am convinced that the teens who develop a faith that is real and lasts have parents who have not made excuses but have made a way to be involved in the church, and model faith with their teens. If faith isn’t real for you, if it’s not a priority for you, it never will be for them. They will come when you make them, until they don’t have too. Would they still practice faith if was solely up to them? Is their faith real?

I want more than anything for my kids and yours to enter heaven. I want my kids and yours to know Jesus and learn what it means to follow him. I don’t know about you, but nothing else even compares to that investment. This effort should eclipse all others. This is the partnership we share together.

“For to this end we toil and strive, because we have set our hope on the living God, who is the savior of all people, especially of those who believe.” 1 Timothy 4:10

GROWTH

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Yesterday we returned from a Mission Trip to New Mexico. We woke up one day while there and one of our teens was noticeably an inch taller. Every time I come home to my own kids, I feel like that doubled in size. We planted some grass seed outside in the front yard. A few days ago, it was just a mound of dirt, and now grass is up and growing. There is something amazing about growth.

When it comes to growth, we, as parents, want it to slow down. And while we know it is always ongoing, there are times it comes in large burst. It is the same with the growth of faith in the lives of our kids. Faith is action based on belief. Sometimes we carry faith around, live in it, trust God through one normal day after another and it doesn’t produce much noticeable growth in our faith. We still need these days. We still need to be consistent in our devotion to God. It should be easier in these average mundane days absent of major trails. These days add up. They still produce growth. Faith is built one day at time.

But then there are days you look at your faith and there is a noticeable growth in your faith. In my experience with teens these growth spurts happen when they participate in something that pushes them to be a part of something out of the ordinary. Something uncomfortable. Something hard. Something they did not think they could do. Something that requires trusting God more than they ever have. For some, maybe this is leading a prayer or a song, or reading scripture. Maybe it is going to a friend and sharing how God has lead them out of something they struggled with that their friend is now drowning in. It might be confessing something they struggle with to someone they know can help them. Maybe it is putting their faith into words and answering a question in class. For others, it may being willing to go to New Mexico or Honduras to walk into unknown situations where they find themselves serving others in ways they did not think possible through conditions they did not think they could endure. These big steps are crucible moments. Growing our faith is a choice. And if you want to see huge change we have to chose to trust God in big ways. Those big things are scary but when we allow God to take us through them we will be changed. We will have grown. People will notice. And when the next opportunity comes to trust God we will be much more likely to trust His track record.

Parents, this means we have to trust God to let them participate in big things that we know will produce growth. The truth is, our kids have and always will be in God’s hands. We have to constantly seek ways to let their faith be challenged.  Lead them through these opportunities with them. Let them see your faith as they growth theirs. This is our main role as parents. They need to know you trust God in big ways so they will learn how. They need to hear you share about the times that grew your faith. If we believe what we say we believe then will seek to live it out in big ways. Our kids need their own deep faith. It defines their identity, solidifies their confidence and purpose, and brings immense worth to their lives. Celebrate their growth. Look for the next time they can grow even deeper. The storms are coming. Faith is the anchor.